Is it wise to combine Sacred Sexuality with Sacred Medicine work?
For more than a decade I’ve drawn my attention to the intersection of Medicine work and Sacred Sexuality.
Experimenting with the alchemy of the two I naturally ask myself questions like:
Is it wise to combine Sacred Sexuality with Sacred Medicine work?
What are the benefits of this alchemy?
What are the right ways to combine those two?
What are the risks we should be aware of?
In this article, I want to start to relate to those questions. Up until now, I had never written about these issues because this is my way: to learn, experiment, and explore an issue for some good years and only then start sharing about it in public.
After doing a fair amount of medicine journeys of all varieties, most of them with traditional medicine people, who separate men from women and keep the ceremony very “modest”, I started to feel that the medicines themselves wish to break out of the modesty cage.
More than a decade ago I started to experiment with the powerful cocktail of sexuality and medicine. I was taking substances by myself, or with my beloveds, and then we would engage in sacred sexuality practices. The results were multi-dimensional, and always left me with the feeling of a big Aha!
I opened it to small groups of individuals from my tribe in Israel — people who had some background in sacred sexuality knew how to take care of themselves and knew each other well enough as a conscious community. Over the years I felt more confident to expand the experiment, use more types of medicines and work with larger groups of people. It was also the result of our Shamanic Sacred Sexuality community growing exponentially and having more and more people that knew the basic elements and etiquette of sacred sexuality spaces. Hundreds of people took part in those ceremonies over the years.
Then something unique happened: My partner and I were teaching an ISTA seminar in the Sacred Valley of Peru. An indigenous couple, a man and a woman, carefully approached us. At the beginning, we did not understand what they want but then we got closer and the secret was revealed: They learned the traditional ways of their people not in the valley but in a small village so far up in the mountains that the Spanish people did not bother conquering it. They do not speak Spanish there and were never Christianized. From those beautiful people, we learned that the traditional way they use to hold medicine ceremonies has erotic elements combined in it. The Christian shame and guilt around eros did not contaminate the minds of those people and the sexual aspects of the ceremony were not censored. Eventually, we took medicine together, engaged in practices inclusive of sacred sexuality and it all felt very natural. Tears of joy rolled from all our eyes when they realized there are other people who get it as they do, and we realized that what we do is not too far from the old ways that were heavily oppressed by the church. It was deeply touching to touch those people who keep an ancient tradition that has never been severed.
It was always clear to me that in ancient temples around the globe, different traditions have been worshiped in different ways, but for many of them, if not all, sexuality was one of the legitimate ways of worship. Healers and sacred people from extensive ancient traditions used all the ways they could to stimulate the soul, from sacred music and dancing to ritual theatre, architecture, herbs, plant medicines, and eroticism as a path for the divine. They mixed those elements together in many ways, according to the specific tradition and the need of the time. To the stunning story of those temples in ancient Jerusalem, I dedicated my book “Kedesha — A Timeless Tale of a Love Priestess”
Based on my experience with myself and hundreds of people whom I served in ceremonies I made a list of more than 13 reasons of “Why to combine Eros and Medicine”.
I want to share some of those thoughts with you here.
So — Why combine Eros and Medicine?
Because many medicines are very erotic by their own nature. They evoke eros in the body and the soul (even though many of them disable erection for men. They invite us to a different type of sexuality). Allowing Eros to move freely in a ceremony uncages the intelligence of those medicines, and allows them the freedom to express themselves through us. The specific way each medicine expresses itself with this life force is different from substance to substance: some will open you to cosmic sex, making you orgasm with the stars and disappear as a supernova into the void. Some will make you into an Eco-sexual being, realizing how sexy all nature is… Some will allow you to have energetic sex with your beloveds without even needing to touch their physical body… And some will show you how deep a simple touch can go. Many substances will want to work with your eros and expand it if you just allow them to naturally express themselves.
Because the levels of intimacy that can be reached between lovers as well as amongst community members who participate in such ceremonies can be ten times deeper than doing one without the other (meaning: sexuality without medicine, or medicine without sexuality)
Because it adds real embodiment to the psychedelic experience. Medicine work might stay as an experience of the soul, the mind, and the heart if we do not involve the body, the whole body, in it.
Because it allows us to be taken completely into the experience of love. In most experiences that we have, there are parts of our consciousness that are staying out of the experience, holding back, or trying to figure out what is happening. One of the beautiful effects of medicines is that they grab you into the experience and leave very little of you watching from the balcony. You are still aware of what you are doing and feeling, actually very aware and you are totally there, In the experience.
Because some medicines allow us to see the patterns of our subconscious with much more clarity. When we come to lovemaking (and I am not talking about inserting P in V but in the vast meaning of love-making) there are so many unconscious patterns that come with us to the occasion and affect us from behind the scenes. When we are taking medicine and put our awareness on hunting those shadowy patterns it is easier for us to recognize them, and make a conscious shift.
There are more and more reasons that I could count and explain, but I will stop here. I feel this is enough for now.
I also want to mention three things that I recommend to be aware of when you want to combine those two powerful sacraments together:
Share this work only with people who have already done some good work on issues of boundaries and ethics. People who know how to take care of their own boundaries and the boundaries of other people. Work only with people who know to respect a NO as a no.
Do not take responsibility for others. When I hold those kinds of ceremonies I always make sure that it is super clear to everybody that I can not (and do not want to) take responsibility for them. Each person needs to be totally responsible for their choices, even under the influence of medicine. Everybody needs to be absolutely aware that this journey has risks (physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual — you name it). I like the disclaimer of the Burning-man festival in Nevada where people sign that they know that participation in that event might cause death! They sign, and they come, and they have lots of fun, not expecting anyone else to make it a “safe space” for them.
Beware of manipulative “shamans”. Whenever someone promises something like: “I can heal you by making love to you” a red warning lightbulb should be activated. Sexual healing is real (!) but real sexual shamans will never try to manipulate you into having sex with them by making those kinds of poor promises. I promise!
I didn’t relate here to all the list of good reasons that I gathered for this potent combination, nor did I write all the conditions needed for that. This article is not aiming to wrap those topics rather start the conversation.
I would love to hear your thoughts about it, especially if you have experience in those realms (positive or negative). And if you want to deepen your journey and join us for the ride — log into our website www.ashramoflove.com and ask to apply for She’Ara intensive.
You can also contact me by clicking here.
Ohad Pele / November, 2021
