By Ohad Pele Ezrahi. 2018
In the current crumbling civilization we are used to seeing love life as something build on a dyad structure: Couples form a relationship of love and share their life together. But as we all well know, a dyad structure is very unstable — just as conventional relationships are.
They way I see the future’s world of love is as a Web of Love, or to be specific: a web of Triangles, that together form Spheres, where everybody is connected to everybody on the web.
Richard Buckminster “Bucky” Fuller is known to be the avrcherct that after WWII experimented with creating structures that were made of triangles and naming them the “Geodesic Domes”. A geodesic dome is a very stable structure that can cover even a huge area without any posts or pillars: “The triangular elements of the dome are structurally rigid and distribute the structural stress throughout the structure, making geodesic domes able to withstand very heavy loads for their size” [Wikipedia].
Now, imagine each of us is a point of connection in a geodesic dome. This way, when I am connecting to my partner, for instance, and she is connected to me as well as to her other lover — a triangle if formed. My partner’s lover might have another lover, hence another triangle is created and attached to the first one. When I am connecting with my partner and my other lover, yet another triangle is formed and attached to the others, and so on and so forth, until we are all connected. When many triangles are connected to each other a sphere is being created.
A “sphere” in this metaphor is a community of lovers that connect to each other and together have their world, their Web of Love.
One of the beautiful things in the geodesic dome strutters is that domes do not have to stand alone as separate beings, but can actually connect to each other (see pictures for illustration).
Some people in each community, some lovers, are actually a connection between this community and an other one. While each community has its own world of love, connections and sexuality, those different worlds of love do not have to be isolated from each other. Lovers who have love connections with people from two different communities form as a connecting point between those two spheres.
One might wonder how many lovers each of us can hold so we can create a dome of love together? Well, If you look closely at the geodesic dome structure you might see that some points of connection are joining only four lines (those at the base line), some have five, others have six lines of connection, while the ones that are forming the merging points of two different domes might even hold eight lines connecting through them in different dimensions…
The potential stability of a structure based on triangles might be interpreted to the old verses in Ecclesiastes that claim: “Two are better than One… and a threefold cord is not quickly broken”. [Ecclesiastes 4.] These verses of the bible have roots even more ancient in the Sumerian sagas of Gilgamesh. In that saga they speak about the a threefold cord pulling a boat through the tunnels of Babylon. I love to see this ship as the Relation-Ship we are talking about here.
As we all know just too well — relationships have lots of potential drama in them. Therefore even openminded people use to think that “first lets handle the relationship of us as a couple, and only then, when we master the dyad, we’ll consider opening our relationships and adding a third”. Though I completely understand and respect this point of view, I want to suggest that it might only be the shifting phase between the old way of relaying to the new way, between the unclear isolated family structure of the past to the more communitarian and sustainable Web of Love of the future.
As for now, we are all fed with drama based education about the meaning of relationships and how to handle them. Most of us grew up in nuclear families and as functional or difunctional the relationships of our parents and grandparents were these were our first raw models in how to do relationships. Add to this the brain wash of common literature and Hollywood films and you get the solution in which our brain cells swim and our cultural reference grow. As for today we can say that human love relationships suck. Most relationships, monogamous or polyamorous, fall apart, break down and crush into disappointment and suffering of the hearts involved. It will take time for humanity to heal itself from its addiction to relational drama and create the first raw models of healthy communities, healthy Love Web Spheres, that can “distribute the [relational] stress throughout the structure, making [them] able to withstand [even] very heavy [drama potential] loads” if necessary.
Here is a note to self related to the topic, that I made public on my FB page this January 2018:
“Spending good time here in Koh Phangan with my life partner Dawn Cherie and her other significant beloved, I am happy to see that i am able to notice the many possible trails, each one of them leading to posible drama story, which I see, smile to, and chose not to take. The Drama stories are just not my story. They are optional loops, which i do not buy into. I feel in ease and in love with life and wife.
‘I walk the way of the religion of Love. anywhere the camel of Love will carry me, this IS my path and this is my faith’ (Iben Arabi)“